Sunday, 11 September 2011

Best of British Sex III - a wanker


it's not all saucy secretaries and wanking your todger between lashings of ginger beer and cucumber sandwiches. some british sex is hot. british men are hot. american men are hotter (in my homo opinion). german guys - i like them cold and mean. french guys - because i like them hairy, short and 5 foot nothing. Lebanese...

mmm... lebanese... 

i'm sorry. my mind is drifting far far away. i could have done with out the marriage proposal from the big beefy hairy doctor in Lebanon last week. he sent some pics of him in surgery with all that fur curling up around the collar of his scrubs. sure, it may complicate surgery should any of that hair fall into the open wound of a patient, but it's one of the sexiest way i could think of to get an infection

what?

yes. British sex. of course

i got a call from a fellow in a hotel, a Travelodge, vague about what he wanted to get up to. so i prepared as much as i could for someone staying in a travelodge (and by that i mean i bothered to run my foreskin under some cold water and chewed a mint. always prepared). he was british so if he's has any experience with london rent boys he would be thankful i don't turn up covered in scabs and an eye dripping with conjunctivitis


i had been in the hotel before. always with an asian client who was a guide for bus tours. he was filipino and self-confessed 'dick addict' that liked to suck and swallow. he loved aussie. aussie guys. aussie cum. aussie men. after a few tedious hours of texting and bargaining i dropped around and gave him my 'angry rude straight aussie guy' routine - quite easy since he had just pissed me off by pretending 'oh, i don't pay for sex' (while admitting he got my number from the whore ad) and using that as an excuse to haggle the price down. i lowered it a bit and agreed to see him after work or when i was just about to go to bed anyway. i would greet him with a series of grunts and be extremely rude. he would caress my filthy flannel shirt like it was gold and be nearly brought to tears at the thrill of lightly touching the hair on my chest and very hairy legs. he loved it and my arrogant prick routine he paid for sex every second night for the next 2 weeks. he loved aussie guys soooo much, he wished to do this all in complete darkness. so i never got to see this travelodge room at all. 

so when i finally got to see a room in the hotel in daylight i wished after all that i hadn't. Mike, the british guy, knew that also. the first thing he said was an apology for the room. that is all he needed to apologise for. Mike was hot. in his mid to late 20s, good slim body and a handsome face with a little pornstar 'tache who's appeal overshadowed it's irony. 

i was going to enjoy this

"i'm just traveling around. i've hit Brisbane, in Melbourne now and will be in Sydney next week. i have a partner back home in London so i'm not really allowed to do anything. you're hot. i'd like to watch you wank and watch you cum."

"wank?" i thought, "you're gonna sit there with your sexy little face and let those cocksucker lips go to waste while you sit there and just watch me wank? you fucking tease!"

i was not going to enjoy this at all

i start to unbutton my shirt and rubbing my chest with one hand and crotch with the other. i don't see the point of masturbating with someone else in the room. you have a perfectly good mouth and arse. use it. i can wank myself off at home. having someone else watch is probably just going to make me feel a little uptight and not enjoy it as much as i normally would. i took off my shirt. from the other side of the small room he unbuttoned his. i slowly unbutton my jeans, rubbing myself until my cock was shown snaking down the leg through the denim. always one step behind me, he removed his shirt. 

knowing he was british i wore rugby shorts instead of jocks. a dirty smirk and a quick jump of his eyebrows let it known he approved. one leg up on the coffee table, i pulled mu cock out and started stroking it, my nuts quickly followed. they're not huge, but they hang low. so maybe i'm numb to it, but they must have fallen out with an audible slap against my thigh because he flinched when they revealed themselves. 

Mike slowly pulled his cock out, and soon gave a few directions on what he wanted to see. i actually started to enjoy it. i am a show off. i know that. but i don't do solo shows. i would rock your socks off being the bad guy in a boy band, but i'm no Robbie Williams. i work much better with others, in a team. it's just a little weird pleasuring myself. 

after a while Mike got up and came around behind me, for a second i thought i might get to feel that cockduster after all. but no, he just rubbed my chest and played with my nipples while he continued to watch the show from a different angle. then he sat back down on the far side of the room. i was getting pretty damn excited, and when that happens i leak precum like a goddamn firehose. i squeezed about half a teaspoonful onto my thumb. held it up. it started to run and form a droplet on the tip. it threatened to fall but i quickly licked it up and savoured the taste (it's pretty damn sweet to. i swear  it's 35% reconstituted pineapple juice).

"awww!" he groaned out loud. it was somewhere between "fuck! that's hot" and "damn! that's not fair!" he stood up again and walked towards me. i thought i had i him, but again he just rubbed me chest

"yeah, suck it you son of a bitch! it's not fair for me either!" 

he sat back down and when he wanted me to come. i had it planned. i was going to finished it off damn well. i took aim and fired, shooting a good 2 feet in the air. i managed to catch a shot or two on my face, one on my mouth and the rest all over my chest. he was impressed. "yeah! look at that! that's some impressive shit right there! that'll fucking teach you to tease me you goddamn... oh wait, that's what you wanted, wasn't it? so... er... yeah, i sure showed you then.. yeah... hmmm... damn!"

he ordered me come and stand close to him. pull my foreskin over my softening cock and slowly play with his while he finished himself off. "that was hot!" and i had to agree with him. it was hot. 

there is some things i have never done sexually. admittedly, there aren't many things left i haven't tried, but i always say "yeah, i've done that" as long as my confidence is convincing it all runs smoothly. today it did. this job is a good way of trying things i haven't done and practicing things i have. practise may not neccessarily make perfect, but it will lessen your chances of being a dud fuck

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