Tuesday 30 August 2011

Monkey Dust

from what is possibly my favouritest tv show ever Monkey Dust. Geoff the first time cottager

Monday 29 August 2011

mix tape - (hidden track)

back in the old days of Sydney when i was able to do incalls in my apartment i had the mix tape all set up. then i had a 2 hour booking, but only enough music in the playlist for 70 minutes, so i packed more tracks in to make up the time to keep the booking going. amongst the deep sleazy house tracks this track accidentally slipped in - The Knife's Pass this On

i used to hate The Knife. hate with a passion. in Amsterdam, two Swedish girls constantly played the Deep Cuts album. it annoyed the fuck out of me. especially Heartbeats


when i heard Heartbeats, all my ears heard was this - the Siamese cats from Lady and the Tramp



...there will be a head for you... and tail for me?

so it took a long time, a few yeas in fact and a Jose Gonzales version in an great Sony commercial, for me to forgive the knife



then one Saturday night i was up late watching The Gossip programme Rage. i was never all that keen on The Gossip because of how much this track Standing In The Way of Control



sounds like this track old track Turn me Loose by Loverboy



but Beth Ditto was fucking awesome and the music they chose that night was fantastic. soon Silent Shout album was released and i loved it. now i love The Gossip and this Knife track. when i hear that tin drum i get little shivers of excitement



there's something about when the kid starts dancing @ 2:15 that i find it to be one of the sexiest things i ever seen

on the mixtape it was tough to keep in the headspace for work when i had visions of drag queens miming in my head. after the first playlist mistake i would put this song 60minutes into the playlist. no self-respecting hooker* wants to look like a clockwatcher, so when i heard Pass This On without looking at the clock i knew when the hour was up and politely shuffle little johnny on his way


(*pun intended. there are no self-respecting hookers out there)

Saturday 27 August 2011

Figging

after looking up CBT i just learned about Figging

this from Wikipedia:

"Figging is the practice of inserting a piece of ginger root into the anus, vagina or male urethra. Originally applied to horses as a form of deception as to the horse's condition, it now most commonly refers to a practice in BDSM.

Historically, this practice, also known as feaguing,[1] or gingering was used to ginger up older horses in order to deceive the purchaser as to the age and condition of the horse, by having the animal hold its tail and head high and moving around nervously, characteristic of a younger horse.

The ginger, skinned and often carved into the shape of a butt plug, causes an intense burning sensation and discomfort to the subject."


this site tells you how to carve your ginger root
and advice like "Storing ginger, unprotected, for long periods of time will rob it of its zip"

amazerblades!

so:
a) i want a horse called 'ginger'
b)i wanna try it! ...but on someone else's arse. well, i did until i watch this unsettling video that involved what could be anyone's mum and dad



the classical music that kicks in @ 0:53 makes it classy!

CBT - Canberra Bi-annual Travel

i was riding a mate's bike down to Melbourne. From Sydney (via Canberra) that's about a 900 km road trip. a little bit boring, but on a bike breaking it up over a few days is great fun. it may only be 750 cc and sounds and steers like a tank, but leaning back into that baby with your headphones on is like taking a sweet ride in your favourite armchair at 130 kms an hour

i got to stay with an old friend in their incredible house. a trip to Costco where i will never need to buy dental floss for another 2 years, dinner and Rise of the Planet of the Apes - which was freaking' awesome and not just because of James Franco, Freaks and Geeks or my monkey fetish (but those things had a lot to do with it)

riding around Canberra on a motorcycle is great fun. big wide roads, little traffic, high speed limits and hundreds of roundabouts that you can really get your knee down! but time for work. i only scored one job in Canberra. a guy who wanted a little ball torture

CBT Cock and Ball Torture is one thing i find a little strange because i don't like it myself. however, i am more than happy to crush someone else's nuts.

there's a guy in Sydney who has been on my back for years about getting jerked off and punched in the nuts. "it'll be an easy job for you." he says. remember what i said about clients who claim it will be an 'easy job' - it NEVER is.

holding firm to the belief it will be easy an easy job he thinks $50 should cover it. i refrained from going all Naomi Campbell on his ass, but, shit nigga, i ain't getting out for bed for $50! over time it increased to $80, then $100, then $120 before i eventually told him i have absolutely no interest in he should contact someone else. no only did i fear a never ending climax as i frantically jerk him of with one hand while the other fist is punching him in the nuts, but i was just so annoying by his constant bargaining over 18 months that i wouldn't do it even if he did agree to my base rate. that doesn't even include fetish stuff

this guy was not like him. this guy in Canberra was pretty cool and pleasant to deal with. it was only anew scene for him. i tugged on his balls and milked his testicles like a cow's teat - applying more pressure each time. judging how sharply he took in a breath was how i would judge the next stroke, gradually building up the pain but never pushing him too far

"you feel that? you feel me milking those bull nuts?" as i grind each nut under one knuckle in to the palm of my other hand

in between the filthy talk, at times like these i always think of the acronym CBT - Cock & Ball Torture and how commonly it appears in everyday life and how often it is said innocently only to be sniggered at by childish immature minds such as myself. the one that reduces me to tears each time was when several years ago New Idea was proudly presenting their scoop in Nicole Kidman and how she was undergoing CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) to help her deal with her panic attacks

"c'mon Nicole. breathe deep, baby. you feel me milking those bull nuts of yours? fuck yeah, bitch. calm blue ocean. you're a calm blue ocean..." and i grind her nuts between my knuckles, "i really liked The Invasion until the Wachowski Brothers took over the final third of the film... " flicking her ball bag. she jumps and winces when she hears me smacking it with the back of my hand, " ...and you were awesome in To Die For, but i know you weren't acting... yeah, baby, calm blue ocean..."

Monday 22 August 2011

grindring #4 - no anonymity

it's a little annoying when clients find you on grindr.

my fault, really. i choose not to be one of those faceless chaps or ones who have a picture of a sunset and expect to see a facepic of others first. therefore there is little anonymmini...

anonymiyminy...

anonny nommy mommity...

anonymousness

but it's after hours. it's my time. they know the methods in which to get in contact. i'm not always up for a friggin' chat! it's bad enough when they want to have sexy talk via text or phone. i tolerate that for a short time and by the third question or text i urge them to 'okay, well i have to go now make a booking.'

i few times i've had them ask, "oh, you don't do phone sex?"

how the fuck would i accept payment for that? i'm not a goddamn charity, though i do think it would be quite noble to offer handjobs for the poor

so i get a little grumpy with them sometimes. especially when they start to pester because i didn't reply straight away. so i start quoting Heathers



Saturday 20 August 2011

mix tape - track eight



Massive Attack - Atlas Air

the best of british sex - II

i normally don't answer private numbers, but tonight was family night in our house and we were watching the Towering Inferno. as much as i love camp disaster films, these people just weren't dying in ridiculous situations fast enough for me.



the downside of not answering private numbers is if someone is calling from a hotel room.

this was a british guy calling from a hotel room. he didn't give much information. he just wanted me for a couple of hours, bring amyl and be dominant. sure. i can do that.

i had never been to the Windsor Hotel. but it's a mighty fine establishment. a beautiful old school british hotel in Melbourne's cbd. as soon as i walked in, my first thought was the Overlook Hotel from The Shining, but with less freaky carpet. it's deathly silent with a slight musk in the air. charmingly tacky and stuffy - quintessentially british, really.




Harris was a large man. tall and chunky. if he was a Simpsons character he would be the one that thinks he's Michael Jackson that sings 'happy birthday Lisa'. nice guy and very polite in that British way.

i love the British accent. in gives the BBC news an air of credibility and i could watch it for hours. it was even on the tv on his hotel room. but also that british accent everything sounded pervy. Harris wants to go slow and wants me to drink up. i expect he wants to get into piss. so with a minibar at my disposal, who am i to deny him. i started drinking like a fish.

"i want you to get me fucked up and use me. i like to get really fucked up."

by going slow, he really did mean going slow. just sitting there groping each other and sniffing poppers. it was alright, but i have to admit i got a little bored and started watching the preparations for the royal wedding on the BBC. i got drunker and drunker. we relocated to the bed where i started smacking him around a bit, choking him, torturing his tits and pulling on his balls. it was all fine and dandy until i smacked his cock out of his hand. the slap was a little too much and he blew

fuck! i was supposed to be there for a few hours and i accidentally made him blow in 1 hour 5 minutes. i still had more beer to drink in the minibar too!

i only charged him for the hour and he also tipped

the next day i was sitting on my arse having a cuppa tea and watching the morning news that showed how local Melbourne establishments were preparing for the Royal Wedding of the guy and that chick that looks like she can't be bothered being wherever she is. one such Melbourne establishment was The Windsor Hotel. so excited i even said aloud "i been there! i smacked a man in the nuts!"

i was alone in the room

our second date was a few weeks later at the Crown Casino. this time i was determined to go slow and piss on the motherfucker. so i drank my litre of water 45mins before. at least i would have if i didn't get delayed and delayed. so by 75 minutes my gut was bursting. not only did i look like a pregnant woman but i also needed to piss like one.

"i want you to get me really fucked up and be really dirty. how dirty do you like to get? i want you to get me really high and use me!"

i went as slowly as i could. so i would stand there in my footy shorts slowly releasing small bursts of piss out. he would see a dark patch spreading in my shorts and find it incredibly sexy. i would see it a necessity or my fucking bladder would explode. after the initial release of pressure i got into and became a dirty fucker, pissing all over his and the hotel room carpet. until he was a dribbling mess on the bathroom floor. it was a nice hotel room. it was...

who'd have thought one day i was protesting outside Crown Casino protesting the World Economic Forum and 10 years later i would be pissing on someone in one of the hotel suites. oh, life... how it can take you to places you could only dream of...



however. my boyfriend and i (bf at the time) only last 2 days at the S11 protest. the third day was when the intreresting fights happened and some chick got run over by a car. but we had already lost interest in fighting the power and went shopping instead



on our third date, Harris and i were once again in the Overlook Hotel. this time i had enough warning and was able to bring something to get him fucked up. but as i got there he had already polished off a bottle of wine, so feeding him GHB after a fair amount of alcohol wasn't a good idea. so unfortunately we both had to be relatively sober with only the tv playing the Rupert Murdoch News Of The World enquiry going on in the background

we got a little rougher without ever getting off the sofa. "i want you to get me fucked up! how dirty do you like to get?"

"i've done it all, mate. how dirty do you want to get?"

"really dirty! how dirty you like to get?"

like? you're asking me? given to opportunity i would never wipe my ass again if i could avoid it. that how dirty i want to get. i don't want to get get dirty at all. i want sit down, have a cup of tea and watch a home renovation show on the sole premise of catching a glimpse of a hot tradie with his shirt off from the comfort of my sofa. that's how dirty i want to get

when client asks you questions like this it can become cyclical and never get anywhere until they man-up and answer the question truthfully or you tell them what they want

i knew what he wanted. really, we'd done just about everything degrading. the only thing left was shit and vomit. i'm not doing that. i'm not totally convinced he wants it to. so i spurred him on into talking about it

"how filthy?"

"really dir'y"

i slapped him across the face. "how dirty!" i smacked him again "how filthy you wanna get, faggot!" and started choking him

his face started bulging and turning red and blue. kind of like Violet Beauregarde but with my piss dripping off her face. "i want you to do a shit!" he struggled to speak while i strangled him, "i want you to shit in my mouth."

i spat in his face, slapped him and smirked. "yeah?" now we were getting somewhere

"i want you to make me shit myself. and we can go to a club and have other guys see me with my shitty arse"

...you can fucking do that on your own, buddy...

"then get guys to play with my dirty arse!"

...i don't think many guys around here would touch it, but...

"make me walk down the street so people can see me and think "what's that smell," he grinned. he was a dirty little cunt and i felt proud that i could have this breakthrough with him. clearly we've gotten to a stage in our relationship where i spit, abuse and piss on him and he can now trust me

we took a little break. i sat back on the sofa, sinking more beer and watching Rupert and James Murdoch giving bullshit answers to stupid questions

after a few minutes the dirty talk went on. i got a little bored again and started watching the inquiry while i pulled on his nuts and crushed them. as i stood there, boot crushing his nuts into the hotel sofa, cock in one hand squirting piss onto his chest, beer in the other hand and spitting in his face like it was the most natural thing to do on a wednesday night all i could think was: i find James Murdoch a little bit attractive. actually, the more he sat there next to his dad spewing bullshit out from behind his nerd glasses the more i found James Murdoch attractive. James Murdoch!



in the final break i was glued to the tv. a little drunk i said aloud, "i'd fuck him."

"what?" Harris said "him? you think he's attractive! what the..!?!"

i turned to Harris and laughed but said nothing of what i was thinking. you don't approve? you know that pretty fucking rich from a guy that just asked me to shit in his mouth!

i tried to make it better by saying "you know he'd be a dirty bastard. James Murdoch likes fucking little girls or something. he's a fisting plushie bottom. he's gotta be. all that money and power. there's gotta be something going on." but still i could not defend it to myself. i know it was the power i was attracted to. but i really have no excuse. those beady little souless eyes. that fucked-up annoying accent. holy shit, what the fuck is wrong with me!

Thursday 18 August 2011

i ♥ Yumi

one thing about being an international playboy is you get to give up your day job. giving up your day job means you can sleep in, be a lazy motherfucker and watch daytime tv

in Australia we're lucky enough to have The Circle. a show that seemed initially to capitalise on the format of The View, but is way more fun due to the personality of the presenters. i never thought four women sitting around talking about their vaginas all morning could be so much fun

everyone loves Chrissy. personally, my favourite is little Yumi.

Yumi rose to fame from her work experience trial on Channel [V] when 3 seconds into her first interview she snogs Robbie Williams (@1:00). she then talks about him fucking Liam Gallagher up the 'use food chute' and Robbie tells everyone to do drugs. illegal drugs and lots of them



i love Yumi. i am in love with Yumi. she's bat-shit crazy. where Chrissy is the jolly light happy humour, Yumi is the flipside. her humour is so dark that sometimes it goes over the head of the live audience. apart from one day where the other 3 presenters talked about their love for Phil Collins and Michael Bolton while Yumi confessed she grew up with Faith No More, this clip where she pulls out two hammers on two child toys testers is what made me fall in love with her.



(watch from 2:45 until 4:40)

she's even hot with a beard

Wednesday 17 August 2011

shopping IV

i'm really running out of things i need. apart from a car. what the fuck do i need to go shopping for? still. if somebody is willing to take me shopping then i should just shut the fuck up

this week it was gym stuff. granted, some was needed - lifting straps, protein powders and footy shorts that i mostly wear to bed not really to the gym. after lunch and hanging out, coffee and some damn fine chocolates, it all came to a couple hundred dollars. so i should relax and spend. it makes him happy. if there's one thing we weren't told it's that being gay is really expensive

Tuesday 9 August 2011

i work hard for the money

"are you available tonight?"

"umm... yeah i'm just at a mate's bbq," i was at the pub

"can you come now? can you be here in half an hour?"

"ah... no. i can be there in an hour."

it's tough to find the balance between getting rushed by an impatient client who wants it NOW and turning up when you're ready to do your best work without losing the job. i didn't want him to know i had to get the train home and brush my skanky sausage-eating beer-drinking teeth.

i get home. i get ready. i race over to his hotel.

he hands me a beer. and the only place to sit is in a chair in the far end of the room. he is in his bathrobe sitting on the bed. we chat for a bit, but he seems to be more interested in the awful night sunday night tv programming of detective crime shows featuring attractive women with the perkiest tits i have ever seen in the police force all with strikingly full-bodied and flowing hair.

he is nervous. so i swagger over to him. he rips open my belt and zipper and pulls out my cock with all the love of a production line lunch lady spooning gruel onto my plate. he is of the whip it out and shove it in variety. his sexual prowess continues as he's tugging my cock in both directions like he is either trying to pull it out further or stuff it back inside my pelvis - either way, it's not getting harder and no one is going to be happy. i even catch him sneaking a peak at the tv

okay. so he's nervous. that's fine. i distract him a bit. "you didn't tell me what you like to get into," he kept tugging, "what would you like to do tonight?"

"i need a good hard fuck!" that's what i was looking for! he was starting to relax and getting in mood. very much so, because 5 seconds later he cast his robe open, lay down on his back and threw his legs in the air

i was still not hard. it was so awkward. he wanted it slammed right in straight away. however, i needed a little inspiration

"do you suck dick?"

"yeah," he said. laying on his back sniffing amyl

"well..., suck my dick then."

"oh yeah. of course." it helped a little, but i decided to do it myself. turned him around, rubbed his arse and stroked myself. he was writhing a little. so as i got the rubbers and lube within reach i started to push my thumb into his arse

"i'm gonna cum!"

before i could mutter "you wha...?" he had rolled on to his back and blown his load. i stood there stunned with my cock in my hand and my thumb up his arse

this is a difficult situation. you want the client to be happy - even if i didn't get to do what i was hired for. i hide my shock. i say nothing about how quickly he came. don't make a joke. not even "well, better out than in!". just keep your mouth shut and don't laugh

i feel obliged to at least stay there for a bit longer to at least make my visit 10 minutes. so we chat a bit and i spend a minute or two watching my hands. i take the cash, thank the man and then i go back to the pub

Saturday 6 August 2011

listen up. now gather 'round

i was laying in bed with my mate. my arms wrapped around his huge shoulders like one of those velcro-hand monkeys every bastard had at school except me

"hmmm," he sighed, "my dianabol hasn't turned up."

"your... what?" i was stroking the hair on his chest. with body his pulled in close, firm arse tight up against my crotch, and with his head resting under my chin so i can't be blamed for not really listening. "your diana wall?"

"diana what?"

"um..." i didn't want to admit i just had an extremely gay moment and imagined he was anxiously awaiting the delivery of his Princess Diana memorabilia. a collection so large it would fill an entire wall if his apartment. made of pictures, magazine cut-outs and commemorative plates he had decoupaged himself with sparkles and macaroni. but i was still half asleep and couldn't cover my embarrassingly gay tracks, "your.. um... diana wall. your homage to... the people's... princess?"

"um... no."

speaking of not paying attention, i'm not paying attention to work today. so i'm taking the day off laying on the sofa watching SPACED



which means after a i finish watching all the episodes i will need to watch Sean of the Dead



then Hot Fuzz...



then i'm going to question my attraction to pin-up cub Nick Frost. then the delightfully anti-christian Paul



i'm not getting of the couch today

mix tape - track seven

Chris Isaak gave me such a boner as a kid


Chris Isaak - Wicked Game (trentemoller dub)

Thursday 4 August 2011

mix tape - track six

for the when the session is heating up. in a one hour booking around the 25-30 minute mark


trentemøller 'always something better (trentemøller remix)'

Douchebags of Grindr

this is such a great idea. making fun of guys on grindr is like shooting fish in a barrel.

initially i found it funny. unfortunately, after reading a few posts, the humour of the site is pretty damn thin. the site screams of bitter old fairies crying about the masculine guy they can't get. especially the comments on this JonSnow



i agree with this guy, he's good looking so he can be picky, but that makes him a dbag? fuck that! and i'd fuck him

other comments and posts on the site are contradictory, lack wit and have a whiny self-righteousness that assume the grindrer has is devoid of humour or any self-awareness. in this guy's case, pretty soon this guy is picked apart by bitchy queens then exposed as a porn star and escort working in Toronto

i'd tap that and one commenter put it right saying "He’s sexy and all the nay-sayers know if he hit on you, you’d be all for it."



and here he is on the bait bus :)


further reading:

why i hate dbags of grindr II - sexual racism vs sexual preference

why i hate dbgs of grindr III - str8 acting vs femmephobia

shopping III

my sugarboy wanted to take me shopping again. i mentioned i needed some new gear for my bike so we agreed to meet around the motorcycle shops on Elizabeth Street

i tried on a few things to keep it interesting. growing up i used to hate going shopping with my mum. i was always bored. i didn't want my sugarboy to be bored. however, i have seen enough 80s films with changeroom montages to know how to keep it flashy and interesting. i tried a few jackets, boots and stuff

i really needed gloves. frozen fingers in a melbourne winter are not only hard to steer with they're a little dangerous. so in the winter gloves section there was an average pair for $60 or a beautiful pair of Dainese for $150. this was a big step up from the boots and socks of the last outing totaling $90

i showed them to him. he liked. "do you want to get them?"

"yeah. they great. they're..." pretending i didn't know the price already i fiddled with the tag and faked a bit of shock to gauge his reaction, "um.. oh.. $150."

"do you want them?" his blue eyes sparkling

i looked for a some expression in him to see what he thought, i read nothing. "um... yes?"

"okay lets get them." he smiled

feeling i reached my credit limit, i walked to the counter. he didn't follow. "do you want a jacket?"

"er... yeah sure!"

we tried on a few jackets and there was one i liked, but none in my size. i couldn't push to spend $800 on a jacket that didn't fit right. we went and had lunch and a coffee.

"want to do some more shopping?" his little eyes beaming

"fuck yeah! let's go."

in another store they also didn't have much i liked so thinking ahead to the warmer months i grabbed a thinner riding jacket. he was quite excited to hand over the credit card for the $400 jacket. it's rough. i don't like getting something for nothing. but i eased into it so much that by the end of the day, the only person that seemed uncomfortable was the sales assistant trying to work out why some guy was paying for all my shiny things

a few days later i sent a thank you text and got this reply. i don't really understand it, but as long as he is happy.

Wednesday 3 August 2011

what's boning me up today II

australian version

first 2 courtesy of hottest blokes






i love it when your mates turn up on porn blogs :)

mix tape - track four + five

incredible video if you love old skool porn. she's a dirty old slapper!

Paradise Circus - Massive Attack from greekgaylolita on Vimeo.


Massive Attack (feat. Hope Sandoval) - Paradise Circus

flows right into the awesome remix



Massive Attack (feat. Hope Sandoval) - Paradise Circus (Gui Boratto Remix)

monday at the office

i like it when clients plan ahead. i'm not sure how somebody is going to know exactly where and when they are going to be horny more than a few weeks in advance. i can't even plan an overseas holiday more than a few weeks in advance.

but Toby did. he's been sniffing around my gaydar profile for a while. i've sen him looking for over a year now. occaisionally asking a question but never following through. finally, he did. booked a hotel room but couldn't decide between his suit and tie or leather fetish. so i decided for him. leather. i raided my housemates wardrobe for leather pants. it's pretty goofy to be wearing leather gear while riding a 250cc, and even goofier when you sit on the bike and the cuffs of those leather pants ride up past the top of your boots exposing your socks.

pfft. whatevs. he's not gonna see me on the bike. i will be standing tall above him when i get into the hotel room.

Toby is a cute little cub in his mid 30s. i have a lot of beary clients. i love their way their chubby faces light up when i walk in the room. skinny fellas just don't have the cheeks for expressing joy. i cornered him up against the wall, leaned in over him and let my intimidating presence do the rest. order him to unzip my leather jacket, grab on to the bulldog harness and force him to his knees. his hands gripped onto the leather around my thighs and i have to admit, i fucking loved wearing them. i may need to score a pair for myself



i love fucking a meaty hairy arse. i don't know what is. them skinny bitches don't do it for me. little in the middle and got much back. but hairy. when i'm on top i need a bit of texture or i'm going to slide right of. or worse, stick. i leave the leathers on. flip him over, start off slow and then pound him. he loved it

we kick back for a while after and tell me my advert and reviews scared him. he thought i was always going to be too extreme. it wasn't until another escort recommended me (the escort who i couldn't rope into a 3way months ago). jolly nice thing to do, old chap!

Monday is usually my day off. so fuck it. i wanted to kick back and watch cartoons. i scooted over to the nearest shops, Northland shopping centre to grab a copy of Toy Story 3. it wasn't until i had an audible tanty over JB Hifi's $40 price that i stomped over the Kmart. there i was, dressed in full leathers, leather pants and boots, leather jacket zipped down a little so you could no doubt see the bulldog harness' strap of leather across my chest hair quietly blowing in the air con. there i was, angry, bearded and leather clad stomping through Kmart to the children's section of the Audio Visual department.

again. pfft. whatevs. if anyone at the check out asks it's a present for my little girl. daddy's just got outta prison and doesn't want to disappoint little Chardonnae by showing up empty handed. however, if anyone notices why my crotch still shiny with lube then i have no excuse for that

not too many folk looked at me strangely as i strut out of there. if anything in the shopping centre would draw people's attention it was the 7 foot tall middle aged lady in the brown turtleneck who i thought was 9 months pregnant. on closer inspection she was far too old to be pregnant, it was her ridiculously enormous breasts hanging low and trapped inside her pullover tucked into her belt. i pitied the poor asian girl serving her with nothing but a pair of sad little bee stings to compete with

it was a nice relaxing monday afternoon, feet up on the sofa and watching cartoons. though something seems to be wrong with the dvd. while i was watching the sad bit at the end the picture kept going all fuzzy, wet and blurry! lucky i held on t the receipt. i will return it to the store tomorrow when i go buy more tissues

*sniff*

Monday 1 August 2011

mix tape - track three


Teargas & Plateglass 'Plague Burial'

public transport

trevor is still is still in the shop. clutch well fucked and will be another week before parts come in and he is back on the road. it hasn't been too bad. public transport in melbourne is good in the sense that just about everywhere i covered. but my god is it ever slow. so slow getting anywhere.

no day job for the moment so it's not too bad. only it make going to the gym a 3 hour process. i was walking. 40 minutes each way walk to the gym. the bus shaved a little bit of time, but not much. at least i arrived dry, warm(ish) and not so exhausted

on the way back across town in the crawling melbourne peak hour traffic, i noticed a guy sitting in the driver's seat of his car. no doubt i was checking him out because of the scruffy beard, but on closer inspection, as much as a sucker as i am for arab guys, he was of the non-hot taxi driver persuation. the kind of taxi driver i know i would soon be yelling at because they don't know how to get to a major well-known street in whatever city i'm currently in

"you don't know how to get to Williams Street, King's Cross? with the bloody great big coke sign at the end of it? are you fucking serious?"

i was a bit heart broken, but with very little to look at i kept staring. then he slowly looked up at me with his 'follow me behind the mosque' eyes and panicked. that's when i looked down and noticed he was pulling his dick. the man was rubbing one out in the driver's seat of his car parked outside North Fitzroy Primary School. nothing serious, i guess, it was school holiday afterall. with a hunch of his shoulders and frantic fidget with his belt, his tackle was tucked away. he threw his little Daihatsu bitchbox into gear and drove off

mix tape - track two

don't be aroused by my confession...

love this track. a good slow and sleazy mix of a dirty song


Puscifer - Rev 22:20 (Rev 4:20 Mix)