Friday, 25 November 2011

gays of christmas past, present and future


i had to join a gym while i was gonna be in town and lose everything i'd been painfully sticking needles in my arse to gain. naturally i'm a lazy cunt and joined the closest gym - Fitness First @ King's Cross

everyone knows Fitness First are cunts. absolute money grubbing cunts. still, i joined them. a sparsely fitted gym with new yet poorly maintained equipment where the handles peeled off machines that were falling apart. the music is fucking awful - cheap dance tracks with adverts jammed in every 5 minutes.

the only positive about this place is the view. you get to work out looking out over King's Cross and see the Harbour and Bridge in the distance. far better than the view inside the gym - nothing but cruising homosexuals that either stare like a deer in your headlights or quickly dart away pretending they were never looking in the first place. there was the occasional 'roid monkey, but this was a gym for people to be pretty.

it was full of the pretty gays. because this used to be my area when i lived in sydney up until 18 months ago i knew all these faces. this gym was a reminder of every man i had rejected and every man that had rejected me in the past 10 years of living in Sydney. the gay ghosts of christmas pasts haunting me over the bench press.

the main difference now was i was much bigger and much meaner looking than before. so those who had rejected me were now keen. though time had not been kind to some and i was no longer interested, to the others i would simply hold a grudge. "you know what, you had your chance…"

however, if they were hot...

the only exciting thing that happened was having a porn star in the house one day. Erik Rhodes (or James, if you read his really funny blog) was in Sydney doing a few shows over the big gay weekend. he is 6' and half million feet tall with really rosy cheeks so he stands out. he was working alone with everyone else playing it cool. but the moment he turned his back the girls would start flapping "oh my god! oh my god! oh my god! ooh!"

it was funny and kind of sad to watch. i'm not sure why they didn't have the balls to go up and say hi, instead pretending it was nothing special. my friend that i was training with eventually noticed, pointed and gasped "oh my god that's that porn star! i wank off to him all the time!"

i looked over to James who had seen my friend point, but before i could give an embarrassed smile and nod a simple 'hi' by means of an apology for my friends slightly uncool outburst, he looked away and got back into the exercise. i wanted to say 'hi' and not mention the porn but instead say something about his fucking hilarious blog (that i hope is him taking the piss out of himself. maybe he is that clever?). there's some great music on there as well that adds some cred to the typical gay-ass dance tracks

http://erikrhodes.blogspot.com/

http://erikrhodes.tumblr.com/

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