while tramping it up between jobs i arranged a hook up with Kevin. a big solid lad. great guy. hot arse. a country boy. he's friendly. great to hang out with. always keen to hang out again. overly keen actually… way too keen… then annoyingly keen.
Remind Me from Röyksopp on Vimeo.
i've been here before. everything about his behaviour, mannerisms and even speech reminded me of my ex. he even looked a little like him. it scared the hell out of me
it sucks when you meet someone and suddenly so many things about them, from physical features to movement and speech, can remind you of someone else - someone you don't want to be reminded of. you don't even get to know this new person because when you look at them all you see is someone you already know. their faults. the hurdles. the issues
why am i saying 'you'? i have no idea if this happens to anyone else. does this happen to anyone else?
i tell Kevin nothing and keep him at a distance. we'd train together a few times but no more hanky panky
"that guy keeps staring at us," Kevin pointed out at the gym
"ahh yeah well...," i released the tricep pushdown with the usual grunt, "you're hot. you know what it's like being one of the beautiful people." i was more interested in massaging my own vanity with these pumped arms than whether some guy was staring at us
"i'm not hot."
i put my exhausted hands on my hips and screwed my sweaty face up in confusion, "eh?"
"i don't think i'm hot."
"but you think i am?" i asked. he nodded. "if i'm hot, you reckon i'd fuck an ugly cunt? no. i wouldn't." just as well were at the gym. we have some work to do on that self-image. "and i'm not hot. i'm ruggedly handsome," i said lifting up my sweaty wifebeater and pouted my lips while sensually rubbing my exposed hairy belly.
i think i farted then too
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