Tuesday 6 March 2012

excess baggage

now I'm living the life of an international playboy again I get to do what I love - fucking off on a plane to other cities on a whim. if you are going to present yourself as a playboy, you cant stay in one place. you really need to jet about

so today I'm flying to Melbourne. it's hardly London, Paris or New York, but it's a start.



my favourite part is the baggage X-ray. today my biggest fear was 'fuck! will there be any baggies left over from the weekend?' it was Mardi Gras afterall. amongst the usual travel items, the chubby little ginger behind the terminal just stumbled across a bag full of weird shit:

a gas mask
viagra
condoms
lube
a banana
a tea pot in the shape of a giraffe

he flinched and scanned the bag again. nothing illegal in the pervert's bag

also I get to have single serving friends again. friendly people who are a little lonely and bored. they just want to chat for the duration of a flight. today's friend was Kristina. a lovely German woman flying to Byron Bay to argue with a man who illegally built a road across her land.

she used to be a school teacher in Berlin. 'the children of the prostitutes,' she said 'they all had animals in their hair. but they were lovely. they would call me 'mum' by accident'

when she agreed that Bavarians are miserable people who only think about money, I loved her. wished her well in her meeting and boarded my plane

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