September 2010
"i'm going back home for a week," Dj said, "you want to come meet my family?"
before i could say 'yes'. i took him out to dinner, Bloodwood on King Street. i fed him full of amazing food then got us both nice and drunk on sour apple bourbon and officially asked him to be my boyfriend. when he stopped giggling and jiggling his feet, he said 'yes'
i'm a sucker for roadtrips. for many years my dad was a truckie, so being the navigator and riding shotgun is second nature. when we swapped driving, Dj couldn't read a map so it was a long ride down along windy mountain side dirt road through a national park. it added another 2 hours to a 9 hour drive, but who could complain with Kangaroos and emus threatening to attack your car?
first stop was someplace in Victoria's south east, we stayed with a friend of his, and his lifetime not-boyfriend, Peter. as soon as Peter walked into the room it was all about him. loud, arrogant and patronising to all those around him. he rarely took the bong from his mouth but when he did, he was demeaning and bossy to his not-partner Steve and insulting and condescending to Dj. say what you want to your boyfriend, but don't diss my bitch! he filled the night with never-ending tales of Dj being a slut in his younger years and asking him about ex-boyfriends "and what happened to the one with the 10inch cock? you know the one you hounded after at the beach that time in 1997?"
we didn't get on well at all.
Peter had unofficially adopted Dj as his son. to him he was a young little mascot and vicariously lived out sexual exploits through him - someone far younger and far better looking. that's great. but surely he had something else to talk about? no. i shut my mouth most of the night, so many times coming close to yelling, "listen old man, all the grecian formula in the world doesn't hide that you're a nasty bitter old queen trying to be the aussie bloke from the bush. you're not funny. you're not witty. you're just an old bitch"
i don't smoke but i carried a half-ounce of weed for the Peter from Sydney. it was $180. he gave me $200 and i didn't have change. i said i'd give him the change later. i forgot. i found out months later he thought i was an arrogant prick from Sydney who barely contributed to conversations and never offered to give him change. i'm sorry. conversation with you is boring enough and i really don't feel like talking about how much of a filthy dirty slut my boyfriend was for 4 hours...
[strike one]
a few hours drive to the Yarra Valley. Dj's family, however, was fucking awesome. we first met his Sister. she may have grown up on the edge of the city but the girl had a dry wit you didn't want to be turned against you. she was a smart girl with great taste in music. i had been warned about their mother, but she was fine. i was prepared for a crazy earth mother adorned in flowers wearing a summer dress crafted from a hessian sack, but she was fine. like a regular mum. his dad was a grumpy old man. that's just fine, i think everyone's dad is a grumpy old man. we got drunk with Dj's mates and little brother and snuck home to his old bed with his dog nestled between us
the last day was him meeting my family, or what i considered family that lived nearby. lunch with my sister, husband and 2 year old nephew, and great friend Maria and her boyfriend who provided most of the entertainment by everyone laughing at his inability to drag himself away from constantly the checking the footy scores on his phone.
we drove back home, up through the hills of the Yarra valley with Dj driving and holding my hand all the way back to Sydney. even when it was dangerous to do so. i hate holding hands, i resisted so many times, but he broke me
i was settling nicely back in to Sydney. all the problems i had with that city were gone. i was happy with work. i was drawing and writing again. my sleep disorder had cleared up. i was sleeping 7-8 hours everyday. everything was fucking awesome
after a horror movie night in the Treehouse where Dj go meet most of my mates in Sydney he said: "i had a great week back home. i'm really missing my family. i'm going to move back home. i want you to come with me."
"i'm going back home for a week," Dj said, "you want to come meet my family?"
before i could say 'yes'. i took him out to dinner, Bloodwood on King Street. i fed him full of amazing food then got us both nice and drunk on sour apple bourbon and officially asked him to be my boyfriend. when he stopped giggling and jiggling his feet, he said 'yes'
i'm a sucker for roadtrips. for many years my dad was a truckie, so being the navigator and riding shotgun is second nature. when we swapped driving, Dj couldn't read a map so it was a long ride down along windy mountain side dirt road through a national park. it added another 2 hours to a 9 hour drive, but who could complain with Kangaroos and emus threatening to attack your car?
first stop was someplace in Victoria's south east, we stayed with a friend of his, and his lifetime not-boyfriend, Peter. as soon as Peter walked into the room it was all about him. loud, arrogant and patronising to all those around him. he rarely took the bong from his mouth but when he did, he was demeaning and bossy to his not-partner Steve and insulting and condescending to Dj. say what you want to your boyfriend, but don't diss my bitch! he filled the night with never-ending tales of Dj being a slut in his younger years and asking him about ex-boyfriends "and what happened to the one with the 10inch cock? you know the one you hounded after at the beach that time in 1997?"
we didn't get on well at all.
Peter had unofficially adopted Dj as his son. to him he was a young little mascot and vicariously lived out sexual exploits through him - someone far younger and far better looking. that's great. but surely he had something else to talk about? no. i shut my mouth most of the night, so many times coming close to yelling, "listen old man, all the grecian formula in the world doesn't hide that you're a nasty bitter old queen trying to be the aussie bloke from the bush. you're not funny. you're not witty. you're just an old bitch"
i don't smoke but i carried a half-ounce of weed for the Peter from Sydney. it was $180. he gave me $200 and i didn't have change. i said i'd give him the change later. i forgot. i found out months later he thought i was an arrogant prick from Sydney who barely contributed to conversations and never offered to give him change. i'm sorry. conversation with you is boring enough and i really don't feel like talking about how much of a filthy dirty slut my boyfriend was for 4 hours...
[strike one]
a few hours drive to the Yarra Valley. Dj's family, however, was fucking awesome. we first met his Sister. she may have grown up on the edge of the city but the girl had a dry wit you didn't want to be turned against you. she was a smart girl with great taste in music. i had been warned about their mother, but she was fine. i was prepared for a crazy earth mother adorned in flowers wearing a summer dress crafted from a hessian sack, but she was fine. like a regular mum. his dad was a grumpy old man. that's just fine, i think everyone's dad is a grumpy old man. we got drunk with Dj's mates and little brother and snuck home to his old bed with his dog nestled between us
the last day was him meeting my family, or what i considered family that lived nearby. lunch with my sister, husband and 2 year old nephew, and great friend Maria and her boyfriend who provided most of the entertainment by everyone laughing at his inability to drag himself away from constantly the checking the footy scores on his phone.
we drove back home, up through the hills of the Yarra valley with Dj driving and holding my hand all the way back to Sydney. even when it was dangerous to do so. i hate holding hands, i resisted so many times, but he broke me
i was settling nicely back in to Sydney. all the problems i had with that city were gone. i was happy with work. i was drawing and writing again. my sleep disorder had cleared up. i was sleeping 7-8 hours everyday. everything was fucking awesome
after a horror movie night in the Treehouse where Dj go meet most of my mates in Sydney he said: "i had a great week back home. i'm really missing my family. i'm going to move back home. i want you to come with me."
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