the man who taught his asshole to talk

"Did I ever tell you about the man who taught his asshole to talk?"

i wish i had spoken to more than one gay man about the side effects of steroids before using them. everybody has heard of 'roid rage. thankfully, i never got that. if anything it made me calmer, happier and less aggressive. 

appetite increased also. and with that so did flatulence. that started with a bang. many bangs. not polite squeakers, mind you, explosions every few minutes. they were nothing you could suppress or release on the sly should you be trapped in the company of others. these were farts were loud and musical. an orchestra. my bowels were a walking brass section - bronzed, polished and proud. they seemed harmless at first and were mostly humorous, if only to me. little did i know these were not farts as all, but the first breaths of a new life...

"…His whole abdomen would move up and down, you dig. farting out the words. It was unlike anything I ever heard. This ass talk had sort of a gut frequency. It hit you right down there like you gotta go. You know when the old colon gives you the elbow and it feels sorta cold inside, and you know all you have to do is turn loose? Well this talking hit you right down there, a bubbly, thick stagnant sound, a sound you could smell…"

the third new side effect of the cycle was sex drive

"your libido will be out of control." was what my trainer said

my libido already was out of control. it's been out of control since my mid 20s. so initially the hormones seemed to make little difference. now i'm in Darlinghurst for 3 weeks where there is available cock strutting up and down the streets 24/7 i can finally be satisfied. but something happened that i was not aware of - i'm normally, and mostly, a top but now i just wanted to get fucked up the ass. all the time. non-stop. cocks. every angle. the harder the better. pounding my guts. splitting me in two

"...to start with it was like a novelty…"

the feeling crept up on me so slowly i didn't notice. it was my second weekend in Sydney. i was at this guy's apartment. he lived in the building i used to live in 4 years ago. identical apartment only a few floors up so the situation was weird to begin with. the man had a big weekend and this was his way to finished it. we were getting nasty in the bedroom and i was fucking him pretty hard so it came as no surprise when things got a little fudgey. we cleaned up and showered and continued

"i wanna eat your arse," he said. who am i to deny? i rolled on all fours and with the right contrast of smooth tongue and rough stubble i was pushing back like a battering ram busting through the castle gates - ass first. "i wanna fuck you," he said

"then fuckin' do it already!" i growled. "woah, where did that come from?"i thought for a moment. anyway, he did fuck me and i was loving it… to a point. he was plodding away. i was on my back while he holding my legs in the air by the ankles. "harder," i said. maybe i didn't say it loud enough. "harder!"

he looked at me but nothing changed. he was looking down at me and was just enjoying the view, i guess. don't get me wrong. it was good. i just wanted more. and i wanted it now!

"fuck me harder!" and i threw my clenched fist into his chest. no reaction. "fuck me harder!" i growled. no change. my grunting had gotten out of control and now, so was i. my arm shot out and grabbed him by the throat. "i said FUCK ME HARDER!" still nothing changed. then my other hand reached out and grabbed him. with both my hands closed around his throat i boomed "fuck me harder, faggot! fuck me!!!" all i could see was the whites of his eyes as i choked him, pulling on his neck and thrusting my ass up into him. "fucking smash it, cunt! fucking…" i don't know what i was saying from here on. spitting out obscenities and frothing at the mouth. i was possessed by some ass demon. i was rabid. 

he froze as he watched me fuck myself up into him. i think he was in shock. i didn't care. i had reached boiling point. "oh fuck this!" and i threw him face down on the bed and used all my weight on the back of his neck to hold him still while i pulled a rubber on. "this is how it's done! fuck me like this, you fucking pussy!" and i slammed my cock into him. i was banging away like a madman

"what are you doing?" i said to myself, "this is a client." and i thought for a second. "oh shit! this is a client!  oh fuck!  calm down, boy. this isn't a hook up. this is a job!" and here i was raping some guys ass. i flipped him over and blew all over his face. he lay there choking on my load, rubbing his own load out. 

i collapsed on the bed. when the client caught his breath he gurgled, "that was intense. woah… and i think you might be a power bottom."

what was happening to me? what have i become? 

for the next week. i just wanted to be fucked. you endlessly hear about cities with a major gay population having nothing but bottoms. "where are all the tops!?!" the old queens shout. i don't know what they are talking about. i find them so easily. i think if you look like a bottom then many guys aren't interested. there's no challenge when they're screaming "i am the weakest baboon of all!" since guys want something they can't have, my ass gets hit on a lot because they assume i will say no. now i was saying yes. so i got banged left, right and centre. upside down. inside out. bashed in backrooms. slammed on staircases. i was spitting on them. throwing punches. demanding they fuck me harder. growling like the devil himself was inside me. it was inside me. it was part of me. my ass was becoming conscious

"oh yeah," said Grant, a wise old gay owl and regular customer at Signal, "for a drug that is supposed to make you more masculine, it totally feminises you. you just become one big bottom."

"why you didn't you tell me this a month ago?"

my ass was out of control. out of my control. it was controlling me. morning. afternoon. night. i wake up after a few hours sleep i'd wake up, turn on grindr and get another one. 

i was no longer human. i was just one big bottom. this terror from within had a grip on me. it was insatiable. my arse hairs grew like tentacoli. while i slept these blonde tentacles were sweeping the streets and back alleys. peeking through bedroom windows and over-turning garbage bins at night for lost and lonely erections. devouring the flesh of any man foolish to stay in their path

" ...Finally it talked all the time day and night, you could hear him for blocks screaming at it to shut up, and beating it with his fist, and sticking candles up it, but nothing did any good and the asshole said to him: “It’s you who will shut up in the end. Not me. Because we dont need you around here any more. I can talk and eat and shit.”…"

one poor sod had the life frightened out of him. he was one of those men blessed with a 10 inch dick but would endlessly complain about it being a curse and too big for many guys to take. "aww, my heart bleeds," i said, "suck it up princess if that's your biggest problem in life then you've a got a pretty sweet life." maybe that wasn't the best way to start a hook up, but i just wanted to get down to business. after some struggling and screaming i finally got that all the way to the base on that 10 inch dick.

it was intense. i was growling, laughing, crying and yelling indecipherable obscenities all at once. demons. running all through me. talking in tongues. then i snapped again. i was on top riding that damn bull when i grabbed him by the throat with one hand and drew back my other into a fist shouting "YOU MOTHERFUCKING CUNT!!!" all i saw was the terrified whites of his eye just before he tried to turn away his head to avoid my striking fist. luckily, i pulled my fist to a halt inches from his face. 

the rest of the afternoon involved his hand shoved over my frothing mouth, then him holding a pillow of my face. my growling climax was so loud the neighbours' dogs were barking back at me. "i'm in melbourne next month. i'll look you up," he said. thankfully, this was not a client, yet unsurprisingly, due to my bad manners, i have never heard back from him.

"….After that he began waking up in the morning with a transparent jelly like a tadpole’s tail all over his mouth. This jelly was what the scientists call un-D.T., Undifferentiated Tissue, which can grow into any kind of flesh on the human body. He would tear it off his mouth and the pieces would stick to his hands like burning gasoline jelly and grow there, grow anywhere on him a glob of it fell. So finally his mouth sealed over…"

at the end of the 3 weeks my ass had totally consumed me. i could not move. i could not walk. no gym. no movement. i could only lay on the couch and chat on grindr and scruff. my time was nearly up. Sydney had worn me down, hollowed me out, i was nothing but a shell of a man. not even a man. just a big hollow bottom. you could toss a penny inside my rectum and you never hear it reach the end. finally, on the last day as i packed my bags and prepared myself to return to melbourne and the mostly mediocre sex that happens there, i decided to have one final hook up

the Gorilla was a hot man in his 40s and a really cool guy too. i had fooled around a few times before in a back room toilet. that's not an easy feat when he is one huge hulk of lebanese muscle. now that there was the opportunity to meet at his place i was there in a heartbeat. we played around a little bit then he asked: "you don't take it, do you?"

"Gorilla," i said feeling the size of his huge cock in my hands. i'm sure we both heard the sound of the tiny bones in my hand being crushed under it's weight. i mustered the courage, i mustered up the courage? no, it wasn't me speaking anymore... and a voice from within me answered: "today. i will cop it." 

and i did. i got banged like the dirty whore i am. we were so rough rubber after rubber kept breaking

"i think i'm out of condoms,"

"i got more in my bag," i said neither of us moved, "it's all the way out in your hallway."

"you clean?" the Gorilla huffed

"yeah. you?"

"sure am."

"alright. let's go."

not the most in-depth discussion one could have about one's HIV status and making the decision to not use protection but the basics were covered. my ass was speaking for me now. i'm not even sure my lips moved, the ones on my face anyway.  now that we were fucking raw it turned even nastier. i was kicking. screaming. kicking and writhing underneath his patented 'helicopter' move. yelling "you fucking cunt! CUNT!!!!" while punching his chest. most of my behaviour he laughed off, but when i got too much and he wanted a five minute break he'd just throw his full weight on me and hold me there. i had no choice but to calm down. 120kg of muscle is very persuasive

"what's wrong, pussycat? did i wear you out?"

"no!" muffled face down in the bed i growled. the sheets wet with my spit, "i can take it!"

"what's that? awww… can't you take anymore?"

i lifted my head, "fuck off, i can take more," my hips were throwing back up into him. i was grunting like a wild boar and pushing back so hard it raised the bulk of him up off the bed, "and DON'T FUCKING CALL ME PUSSYCAT!" the violence started all over again

2 hours later we were an exhausted heap of sweaty meat. my hole had been bred twice. i lay face down on the Gorilla's chest. my ass in the air. abused and battered, so when the breeze from the window blew across the wide gaping chasm that was once my asshole it made a deep humming sound not unlike that of an oboe

hours later i was on the plane back to melbourne. i had said almost nothing the whole time. was it because my mouth had completely sealed over? was it because i was finally satisfied? i was well fed before the flight, both my stomach and my greedy ass, so either way, i was silent. 

well, almost. what was the third side effect again? flatulence. that's okay. i could let it rip. i was on a plane. the noisy engines would cover the sound and the air con will whisk away the stench before the people around me knew. so i did. i let a fart so forceful you may not have heard it, but the seat vibrated with such vigour the movement tickled my balls. the second it ripped out of me i knew i should not have let this one out. my eyes widened in terror. "that's not dry!"i gasped silently "that was wet! sweet jesus, that fart was wet!" i panicked but i could smell nothing. i soon calmed knowing that i did not shit myself. my pants were not full of poop. it was jizz. the Gorilla's load of manchowder from earlier today. i could do nothing but sit the rest of the flight while a bucket of white baby gravy thickened and congealed in my jocks. i would not go to the bathroom now. it's too late. i can cover the wet patches with my backpack when i disembark this aircraft. so i admitted defeat and rest my head against the window

i cried a little bit, but i mostly laughed. it was my baby's first word. that word may have been "ppffbloomp!" but my asshole had begun to talk. talk all on it's own. i felt a sense of pride and defeat as i pass my life onto my ass. as it grows and strengthens, soon it's speech will form sentences. it will sing songs, write and recite poetry all on it's own. it will be at the heart of many a dinner party conversation entertaining folk who have travelled far and wide just to dine with my talking ass. they won't come to see me. it has no use for me anymore. what will become of me?

"...the whole head would have have amputated spontaneous except for the eyes, you dig. Thats one thing the asshole couldn’t do was see. It needed the eyes. But nerve connections were blocked and infiltrated and atrophied so the brain couldn’t give orders any more. It was trapped in the skull, sealed off. For a while you could see the silent, helpless suffering of the brain behind the eyes, then finally the brain must have died, because the eyes went out, and there was no more feeling in them than a crab’s eyes on the end of a stalk."