hammered

not only can Melbourne be cold. it can also be fucking frustrating. getting a simple no strings hook up can be like pushing shit up hill. and like a little dung beatle, when you finally get up to the top of the hill and score a hook up, quite often all you end up with is big useless ball of shit.

I'm from Sydney, so if you find something you like, you message for a bit then hook up. but guys in Melbourne (generally) want to chat... and chat some more... and a little bit more and then after a few hours of tedious chat they can meet you for a coffee next Thursday. by Thursday I'm already chasing something else, if not fucked 4 other guys. a few times I've waited and waited and eventually met the guy, and they're a dud root. partly because i've lost interest and probably because it takes so long for them to put out they haven't racked up enough experience. in the end it's unsatisfying, even boring and you do things like... "what's that? hang on i think i got a msg on my phone."

"but your phone didn't ring."

"it's on vibrate. it's urgent. i gotta go, sorry."

"but don't you wanna cum?"

"hmm... nah, i'm alright. cheers. thanks a lot. bye."

but this Sunday morning. i was determined to get one. and for once, i wanted to get fucked! i wanted my ass drilled! i had such a frustrating week to come home at 4am in the morning after a hard night at the whorehouse and wank myself off every night just to get to sleep. i found a guy i'd messaged before. shaved head, goatee, hairy chest, a mean looking sexy fucker who was ready to hook up right now. he sent a pic of his cock. it wasn't small, but not too big. it was one i reckon i could take on.

i showered. washed my bits and pushed all the shit in my room up against the wall and under the bed - i was out to impress! the guy turned up. sexy fucker and just as mean looking as i hoped. he smoked a bit, we a had a beer and then got into it. he was hot. awesome kisser. didn't play all his cards at once and didn't drag it out. i could feel his cock in his trakkie daks and it was feeling pretty damn hard and big. then i pulled it out. it was huge



i think back to the cock pic he sent. did i get confused? was that someone else's cock? later i realised i had looked at his cock from the hand up. i didn't see the extra 3 inches under his hand. "oh shit," i thought, "that's gonna break me. that's gonna split me in two! i need to make an excuse... i gotta get out of here... i gotta get outta here...!"



ahh fuck it

i let him try and get it in. not too gentle, not too rough. damn his porridge was just right! he fucked the hell out of Goldilocks. smacked me around a bit like that woman in the video above too. for three hours. three loud, shouting, grunting, sweaty hours. i nearly tore his goddamn head off when i blew. then just before i passed out he rode off. i spent the rest of the afternoon snoozing and laying in bed with a huge dirty grin on my face.

i was telling a mate..., well, i was bragging to a mate the following day, telling him how by the second hour of getting ass-raped my legs started shaking involuntarily

"dude. that means you're body is going into shock!"

"oh. really? hmm..."

"what was his name?"

"pfft... i don't know..."